As you have been reading this book on the personality of Jesus—his generosity, his playfulness, how amazing he is with others—little doubts have been whispering in the background, Yes . . . but. The objections race forward. It doesn’t have to be major crises. Sometimes it is simply the long, slow poisoning of disappointment, frustration, hope deferred. A slow but steady erosion of what we believe about God takes place. Yes . . . but.
If you are holding something in your heart against Jesus—the loss of someone you love, a painful memory from your past, simply the way your life has turned out—if you are holding that against Jesus, well, then, it is between you and Jesus. And no amount of ignoring it or being faithful in other areas of your life is going to make it go away. In order to move forward, you are going to need to forgive Jesus for whatever these things are.
“But Jesus doesn’t need our forgiveness!” you protest. I didn’t say he did. I said that you need to forgive Jesus—you need it.
This comes before understanding. We don’t often know why things have happened the way they have in our lives. What we do know is that we were hurt, and part of that hurt is toward Jesus, because in our hearts we believe he let it happen. Again, this is not the time for sifting theological nuances, but this is why it is so important for you to look at the world the way Jesus did—as a vicious battle with evil. When you understand you have an enemy that has hated your guts ever since you were a child, it will help you not to blame this stuff on God. Anyhow, the facts are it happened, we are hurt that it happened, and part of us believes Jesus could have done something about it and didn’t. That is why we need to forgive him. We do so in order that this part of us can draw near him again, and receive his love.
-John Eldredge, Beautiful Outlaw, 186-189
hiking2christ 